Wise Old Carol is Here for You!
Wise Old Carol Speaks

Love - Giving and Getting It


Just because you give love doesn't mean you will get it in return. You may be crazy in love with a certain man, but you can't expect him to love you simply because you love him. 

The same holds true for in-laws. Let's say your son marries a woman who seems to automatically despise you. What are you going to do about it? Be kind and loving toward her? Sorry, but it rarely, and I do mean rarely, works. Yes, you certainly should be kind to her, but you might as well give up the expectation of returned love on her part. 

This is where it gets difficult for many women. Please remember that you have your own life to live. Concentrate on a new activity or hobby. Also remember that you raise a son to give him away. Now is the time for you to spread your own wings and fly in another direction. 

And let's turn this example around a bit. If your mother-in-law hates you, even makes your life miserable, all of the above will apply. I wish you inner serenity.  

The Joy of Walking


Have you ever watched a baby take its first steps? Quite often the baby's face will wear a 
triumphant smile, one with the proud knowledge of what an accomplishment he or she 
has just made.

And you have just witnessed the beginning of a lifetime of walking. Isn't it remarkable that
we have this method of locomotion? However, in our current society, we tend to ride instead of 
walk. And most of us spend years of our lives sitting at desks all day long. Will atrophy eventually set in? Will we one day not be able to walk? 

Elderly people, and those with limiting diseases, can tell you how it feels not to be able to 
easily walk. So get with it while you still can. Start a daily walk. It could be in a gym, at a 
mall, or outside. Just one-half an hour can make a difference in your mood, as well as give 
your body some of the exercise it needs in order to maintain good health. 

And it needn't be boring. Many creative ideas can rise to the surface as you walk. Give it a try.  

Loneliness

Suffering from loneliness can cause us to make unwise decisions that do not solve the problem. 

For instance: 

Are you really less lonely if you buy something you didn't need but makes you happy for a few hours? Depending on how much money you have spent, that's a minor example.

But worse then depleting your finances, loneliness often drives people to choose undesirable partners. And you can be unbelievably lonely with some people.

There are many other ways to deal with loneliness. Develop a hobby. Use your creativity. Volunteer to help a person or group. Join a club that interests you. Or you could join a church. Try several things, but to be sure to be an active member.

The point is that you have to give of your time and yourself, no matter how you choose to do it, in order to be less lonely. 

Anger Or Silence?

When someone hurts you deeply, how do you react? Is your first thought revenge? That is a natural reaction, but one that can make the problem more important that it deserves to be. 

Before you respond, give some thought to what the evil-doer's next ploy will be if you do
tell hin/her off.

In many cases, absolute silence is the best revenge. More than likely the offender is eagerly awaiting your reaction. What a downer for that person when your only response is silence. 

Next step: Wait two months, or until you can talk about the situation in a calm, sensible manner. Explain to him/her, in a soft voice (no shrieking), how disappointed you were and why.
Perhaps a plan that you could both agree to could be arranged.  

If you have no way to mend the relationship, then decide if it is worth your time or concern.
There are some relationships that just aren't worth the effort. 

Controlling Anxiety


Is it any wonder that there is an undercurrent of anxiety in most of us? Think of all the reasons we have for being anxious.

Those reasons are obvious. There is always a war to talk about, as well as the fear of yet another one. Our politicians are at an impasse, one that accomplishes absolutely nothing, and which has gone on for years. 

The media is ruthless in its need for violence. Some of the movies are filled with violence of all sorts. Violent porn is available to one and all. The murder of little children in their school, the murder of people in shopping malls. It goes on and on. 

So how do we deal with it? Make a pact with yourself to shut off at least one or two of the avenues of the delivery of gloom each day. Read a humorous book. Look for joy and love wherever you go. 

Finding Joy


We've been through winter, one that few people enjoyed, but now the magic of spring is 
here. Sunshine, warmer temperatures, and the colorful blossoms of plants and trees abound.
People suddenly look happy. 

We would all like some of that happiness to continue through the seasons, but life isn't like that. 
Some people have natural joy built into their personalities, but the majority of us aren't 
that lucky. So how do those of us cope with the gloomy times?

Take some of that summer joy with you by adding bright colors to your home. A bright painting, 
colorful towels, a throw rug with warm tones. You could wear a bright scarf, even a red 
coat. You will also need some bright lights in your home. Then add some humorous books and DVDs. 

And remember that life is what we make of it.  

Quotes from Wise Old Carol

Nostalgia: A device that removes the ruts and potholes from memory lane. 
George W. Ball

Regret is an appalling waste of energy; you can't build on it; it is good only for wallowing.
                                                                                  Katherine Mansfield                                                                       
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
                                                                                  George Bernard Shaw

The only thing I regret about my past is the length of it. If I had to live my life again, I'd 
the same mistakes, only sooner.                                     Tallulah Bankhead 

No yesterdays are ever wasted for those who give themselves to today.
                                                                                        Brendan Francis

The best preparation for a better life next year is a full, complete, harmonious, joyous
life this year.                                                                   Thomas Dreier

Handling the Hard Times

We all have times when we are faced with emotional and/or physical pain. Getting through 
those times can be very difficult. But it can be a little easier if you realize that you can either give in and let it rule your life, or you can refuse to let it dictate to your every moment.

Here is one way that works for me. The following easy breathing exercise is taken from "Perfect Breathing," by Al Lee and Don Campbell.

This is an exercise called Six-Second  Breath. Try to aim for a six-second breath cycle as follows: 

Inhale for 2 seconds...Hold for l second...Exhale for 2 seconds...Hold for 1 second. Repeat.

One thing I want to emphasize...Don't take big gulps of air. Don't be afraid you will run out of air on those one second holds. You will be surprised at how much ease you will feel once you accomplish this. Give it a chance. 


It's The Little Things

It's the little things that give us joy, and they don't even have a monetary value. 

I still remember the rainbow I saw at Manzanita on the Oregon coast. It was bright orange and it lasted and lasted until my eyes begged for relief, but I refused to blink until the sunset had sunk into the sea. That was 20 years ago, but I have only to think about it, and it appears again in my mind.

And when I was a child in Yosemite National Park, I loved to turn out the light in my bedroom and stare out the window at the snow laden mountains in the moonlight. That lovely sight, as well as the eerie howls of the coyotes, are just waiting for me to think of them, and they, too, are there in my mind.   

And then, there was my secret place. I would follow a narrow animals' path until I came upon a small creek by which there was a grassy spot under the umbrella of a vine maple tree. I would sit there in peace. There have been many times that have I stepped back into that secret place needing the comfort of its peaceful serenity. 

I hope you have some similar "photos" in your mind. They are the simple keys to the utter beauty of life. 

Patterns of Life


The patterns of our lives are like the eternal rising and falling of the tides in the ocean.

For example: Sometimes we win, sometimes we lose. Sometimes we are filled with joy, other times we are filled with woe. Sometimes we are so happy we could fly to the moon, other times we are so blue we'd like to just give up.

So let's compare life to riding a teeter totter. The challenge is to keep the rhythm going up and down, so that neither one takes control.

Think about it. Keep in mind that there are as many upsides as downsides. It is a matter of acceptance and emotional balance.

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Recent Posts

  1. Love - Giving and Getting It
    Tuesday, April 22, 2014
  2. The Joy of Walking
    Thursday, April 17, 2014
  3. Loneliness
    Friday, April 11, 2014
  4. Anger Or Silence?
    Saturday, April 05, 2014
  5. Controlling Anxiety
    Thursday, March 27, 2014
  6. Finding Joy
    Monday, March 24, 2014
  7. Quotes from Wise Old Carol
    Saturday, March 08, 2014
  8. Handling the Hard Times
    Thursday, February 27, 2014
  9. It's The Little Things
    Wednesday, February 19, 2014
  10. Patterns of Life
    Saturday, February 15, 2014

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